The Tick

I just cut open a tick to watch it bleed.

Ticks are automatons.
Simple creatures with pre-programmed responses to stimuli.

There is nothing else in that little machine.

But part of me still wonders...
...where did the part that decided to crawl away with two legs missing ?
As I observe this creature try to crawl away from danger with two legs missing,
I wonder if it feels what I feel.
Trapped in a broken body,
forced to feel pain in a situation it has no control over.
Perhaps in the false hope that it may one day escape.

Is that where we go?
Away from the pain?

I am only on the precipice of understanding what’s happened to me.
Just like this tick with two legs missing.

Perhaps the only escape from pain is to say hello when it knocks.

To call out to the part of me that hurts & identify that it is indeed my back that aches,
or my toe that’s been stubbed,
or my heart that’s been broken.

Perhaps the answer is to accept that life is pain.